Alia Bhat, the actress, was recently involved in controversy after she challenged the idea of Kanyadaan in an advertisement by Manyavar Mhey. Mohey, of the Manyavar house, is responsible for defining ethnic clothing for women. While the brand follows many of the same principles as its parent company, Manyavar, it offers a range of beautiful Lehengas and stunning Sarees. It also sells Suits and Gowns—Mohey, like Manyavar, has a collection to suit every occasion, culture, and location. Manyavar’s latest commercial claimed that Kanyadaan, a Hindu tradition, is regressive. Kanyadaan is oppressive, and people should follow ‘Kanyadaan’ instead. They claim that Kanyamaan’s new concept will give these traditions a modern twist and make respecting the brides more important than giving them away.
Manyavar Mohey’s advertisement was shared on Twitter with negative and positive comments. Some people saw it as an advertisement that challenged and depicted the reality of women, while others saw it as an attack on Hindu wedding rituals.
People wrote, “Why are only Hindus targeted?” “Beti Paraya Dhan Hoti Hai” is a line popularized by the Bollywood industry.” Her intelligence was also questioned by netizens who pointed out her Koffee With Karan interview in which she claimed that Prithvi Raj Chanhan was the President. Others called the advertisement misleading and manipulative.
Positive tweets said the ad was better than television serials and films. Some tweets suggested that it wasn’t Kanyadaan’s idea that was regressive but instead the giving up of the daughter.
Indian weddings include many rituals. Each has a particular significance and is passed on to the younger generation by their elders. Many of these rituals have been altered to reflect changing times. Kanyadaan, one of these traditions, has been much debated. Some people believe that Kanyadaan is ‘Kanya ka Daan,’ but others argue that it has nothing to do with ‘Kanya ka Daan Karna’ since a daughter cannot be donated. Let’s first learn about Kanyadaan, its history, and how it occurs.
The History
Kanyadaan, a Hindu wedding ceremony, is believed to have originated in the 15th century. This is evident by the many stone inscriptions found in the Vijayanagara Kingdom. This tradition is often interpreted as giving the Bride away to the Groom’s family. However, the Hindu scriptures state that this tradition involves the giving up of the Gotra for the Bride and taking on the Gotra for the Groom. The Bride is believed to be the manifestations of Laxmi and the Groom of Lord Narayana. Everyone witnesses the ritual, but the marriage of the ‘Gods’ is performed by the parents of the bride’ and Groom. Before proceeding with the ceremony, this Hindu ritual is performed to get the parents’ approval of the Bride.
Many events are described in the inscriptions that show that the bride price, a ritual where the husband gives money or goods to the Bride, was expected during ancient weddings. A group of Brahmins created social legislation to combat the epidemic of bride prices. They adopted the Kanyadaan system of marriage for their community. The King ordered that no money should be received or paid during marriage. Those who didn’t comply would be punished. These inscriptions confirm that social legislation was widely used in community groups instead of personal rules based on religious scriptures.
The Ceremony
After the Jaimala, the ceremony of Kanyadaan is held. The father of the Bride takes the right hand from his daughter and places it in the Groom’s right hand. He then asks that the Bride accept him as an equal partner. After joining the hands, the mother-of-the Bride pours holy oil onto her husband’s palm, which allows it to flow through his fingers onto his girl’s hand, and then onto the Groom’s. After the Kanyadaan ritual is completed, the curtain that separates the two couples is drawn.
Even though the Vedas and the Upanishads do not mention Kanyadaan, there are mentions of it in the Manusmritis Verses 3.29 & 3.35. Folklore has it that Prajapati Daksh, the Son of Lord Brahma, was the first to perform the Kanyadaan for his daughters.
Various Discourses
The Kanyadaan ritual is patriarchal in feminist discourse. Let’s find out how. Kanyadaan, according to feminist interpretations of the ritual, is one that tries to prove women inferior to men. It is also one of those rituals that contributes most to women’s objectification and abuse. Arguments have been made that Daan literally means to give or charity. Many rituals and traditions require the woman to depend on her husband or her male family members. Many traditions have been criticized for being sexist, derogatory, and objectifying females. Traditions should change to reflect changing times. Many questions have been raised, such as “Is a girl a commodity? Can she be donated?” Why does she need to wear a mangalsutra?
In a similar vein, Dia Mirza, Actress, was also married to Vaibhav Rekhi, a Businessman. She opposed patriarchal rituals. Dia took a progressive stance and set some important goals for the millennials that they could incorporate into their wedding. Dia called a priestess for the ceremony and rejected the Kanyadaan/Bidai tradition. She said that change is about our choices. Dia, Vaibhav Rekhi’s daughter from his previous marriage, walked the aisle together even though second and third marriages are taboo.
